Kronenbourg 1664: The French can make beer too.

Pour it into a glass. The head is beautiful. 

Kronenbourg 1664 is the highest selling beer in France and the second highest selling lager in the UK. And you can see why. This is a very well-balanced crisp beer. Everything about it was absolutely spot on. The 1664 is the year Kronenbourg brewery started in Strasbourg, France.

Great golden color, the barman kept insisting that I try the Kronenbourg 'Blanc' which is their famed white beer, but I decided to stick to the 1664 lager. At 5.0% ABV, it lacks the spicy bite that is associated with a lot of pale lagers.

The great thing about this beer was its lack of complexity which made it taste like an average mass market beer, but the beer held ground and tasted solid nonetheless. There's a sense of corn and some kind of cereal but those are light and the flavors don't overstay their welcome.

The beer has a beautiful head and one is obliged to say cheers to the french for making not only good wine, but great beer as well. Kronenbourg 1664 is crisp, clean and mildly flavored beer. It's easy to drink and will form a great accompaniment to your cheesy food. Au Revoir and Cheers! 

Amstel Light: Coors Light's European Cousin

Good Lager but not much love

The good thing about the Chili's and Beer Cafe's of Delhi is the brilliant food and often brilliant array of beers they have on offer. So, while these are priced at a premium to your domestics and often don't come under your 1+1 offers (Yes, I'm a cheap fuck too), you can sit and sample a good number of phoren  beer while you're there.

Amster Light was made by this tiny brewery in Amsterdam until it as taken over by big daddy Heineken. Its a 3.5% ABV which makes it ideal to wash down your generous Tex-Mex food.

The head was uninspiring but the beer stood firm till the last sip. That's the one quality about phoren beers that I wish Indian beers had. The last sip on an Indian pint is always horrible and has zero carbonation. So the first sip of your beer and the last one differs widely on taste and flavor. This is not the case with a lot of these beers.

There is a sure sense of corn which you can sense at the very beginning. I think that the beer was very watery. I did not particularly enjoy all of it, I wouldn't be buying it anytime soon. The other European beer I had that night was much more promising (Find the review above). This beers feels more like an American beer than a European one considering the corn flavor and Coors Light clone quality that it has. Recommended with fried goodies and nice dips. Cheers!  

Kalyani Black Label: Flavorsome

I had Kalyani Black Label after a long long time at My Bar in Pahadganj. Those good folks at My Bar, they've also caught on to the 'Beer Tower' Bandwagon. I have a problem with those. While towers do add a visual appeal to your beer evening, but they screw the beer tasting experience for you. The head and the carbonation go waste as they don't come out of the tap. The beer gets more flat as you go down the tower, so you have to compromise on the taste.

Kalyani Black Label comes from the UB stable, so you can be sure of a decently brewed beer. The beer is among the oldest lagers around and comes with a generous 7.8% ABV.

Pours disappointingly, low carbonation, brief head. But a nice mouthful of hopp-ish taste. There's a decent sugary and rice-like quality to the aftertaste. It's a fair beer to have with Indian starters particularly seekh kebabs. You can gulp down two and not feel a thing till sometime afterwards when a comforting buzz sets in. Enjoy it with something spicy and drink it fast, it looses carbonation very quickly. Cheers!

Old Monk Beer: Nearing Perfection

Those folks at Mohan Meakin can do no wrong

This beer was probably the only beer which totally knocked the fuck out of me in one and a half bottles. Among the strongest and easiest to drink I have had in a long time. While a Canon 10,000 and Knock outdoes OMB in terms of pure kick, but this beer is really yum as well. A fine fine brew from those master-class craftsmen at Mohan Meakin.

The first question someone asks "Beer mein rum hai"? and yes that bothered me as well, as it is difficult to imagine normal people do such funny stuff after one beer that I saw some doing.

Even the worst local Ghaziabadi pizza tasted like wood-fired pizza perfection from Italy. It takes the bladder of a well-beered man to handle two of these.

The taste was mildly fruity and raisin-ish. The carbonation was just perfect and the sweetiness carries on till the finish and the overall mouth-feel. The sugary yeasty edge gives it easy drinkability, which is rather uncommon in Indian strong beers. Don't be surprised if you wolf it down in quick and large gulps.

Among the better beers I have had in a long long time. This one will make you believe that Himesh's nasal twang is the next level of human vocal evolution. Cheers! 

Godfather: A beer you can't refuse

Pleasant Tasting, smooth finish 

The guy on the label looks like Karl Marx's stunt double. So this review might be a little biased.

Well designed, well branded. The label tells you that Devans Modern Breweries spent a fair bit of time on making their beer a stand-out on the shelf. It doesn't look cheap at all. Godfather comes in three variants: Lite, Lager and Strong. I tried the lager and pretty much liked it.

The pull over cap is quite a luxury with beers in this segment. And particularly because thekas in Ghaziabad almost refuse to have any openers to help you. So, you're mostly left doing funny party tricks to open your beer or making your gums play Shaktimaan on the beer crown.

The head is brief and uninspiring. The carbonation is rather low for a beer with such a heavy duty name. Would make for a good accompaniment with cheesier foods like pizzas and pastas.

There is some kind of grainy sweetness which results in a pleasant smooth finish. Looking forward to tasting Godfather Strong. Mild carbonation and mild sweetness might be a great combo in a strong beer. Let's see. Cheers!

Thunderbolt: Chemical Urine in a Bottle

This piece of horse piss is among the top 5 selling beers in India, believe it or not. I fail to understand why. On a local Ghaziabadi's recommendation, I tried this with great expectations, only to be left with a bad taste in my mouth. Literally.

Thunderbolt is brewed by this company in Mohali, Punjab called Mount Shivalik, and I must say this beer brings nothing but shame to the state of Punjab which has a great history of micro-producing alcohol. And consuming it of course.

ABV is around 9% though I don't see the point at all, there's no way in hell I am putting my tongue through this again, no matter what the alcohol percentage is.

There's a strong chemicaly taste. It starts kind of sweet but then the aftertaste is extremely artificial and plasticky,

Won't recommend. Unless you have had a dental appointment which has rendered your taste buds dead for a day. Yes, then Thunderbolt might be a god idea.  

Wave Beer: Creating waves of delayed buzz

Wave was the first Desi beer that I sampled in Ghaziabad. And the first thing that struck me about it was its sheer disrespect for packaging and labeling as a legitimate thing to spend on. The labels are falling off or torn, one of the bottles we bought had grease all over it.

The beer tastes very good, has a full-bodied flavor, generous bite, but very little refinement.

Wave is brewed in Aligarh in Uttar Pradesh and will be very tough to find outside UP. The strength exceeds 8% V/V and the high justifies the claim on the label.

We experienced the buzz only about an hour after the beer had been consumed. So, be careful of that. You wouldn't want to have copious amounts of this unrefined beer, in case it isn't doing anything to you. Definitely among the better Ghaziabad finds. Worth a try. Cheers! 

Indus Pride: So good you'd want to Make Love to it

So good you'd take selfies with it 

What the fuck was this beer? Beer spiked with fennel seeds and spices? How the hell does this work? Indus Pride is probably the yummiest beer to have come out of India in a while.

This one's a premium offering from SAB Miller India and works on the positioning of a premium beer experience rooted in Indian heritage.

Comes in four variants: Citrusy Corriander, Spicy Fennel, Citrusy Cardamom and Fiery Cinnamon. Unconventional for the Indian palate but definitely a great step in the right direction. I doubt if it will sell that much, being the acquired taste that it is.

This beer is brewed for 18 days which is much longer than the usual 11 days it takes for other beers to be bottled and ready for shipment. And it shows. The aroma is very light and the beer has a light upbeat feel about it. I had it straight from the bottle so no clue about the head and nose.

There was a malty undertone which was very comforting. This beer must be had stand-alone without any food to truly understand and appreciate its flavors. Try avoiding heavily flavorful food with this as the Indus Pride experience demands your palate to pay attention to its body.

I haven't tried all of them yet. But I'm sure they'll be as well brewed if not better. Go and get it now (available in limited thekas in Delhi and major metros only). Cheers!

Knock Out: Selling Piss in a Bottle

This is URINE 

Pretty much the worst beer I have ever had in my life, though 'Thunderbolt' comes very near. Horrible chemicaly taste and a really bad high. It is rather chilled urine that you are paying for.

What's the point of drinking a beer purely to swallow it somehow and then to walk around like a high deranged piglet. There are cheaper liquids available at the liquor store if the objective is solely getting 'knocked out'.

You have to admire one thing: the beer delivers what it claims on the label. You have to be a real drunkard for this beer to have little effect on you.

The head is brief, the nose is senseless and the taste is plasticky and singular. Have two of these and prepare to get really fucked up. There's no point of drinking this urine unless you are a doctor's clinic compounder with a talkative wife at home.

London Pilsner: Nothing English About It

Crisp, Crisp and Crisp 

First time I had London Pilsner (or as fondly called 'LP') was in a farm house party somewhere outside Pune. Super brilliant lager I must say.

It is among the cheapest beers you can find in Maharashtra and that might be one of the reasons for the cult following that it has developed. This is the best brew to come from the house of UB besides KF Blue. But they have pretty much clowns running the place so the more a product gets loved, the sooner they pull it off the shelves. Maybe they really want to go bankrupt.

The head is elaborate, the taste is wholesome. The high is mild and comfortable and the beer is best had with some spicy chicken tikka or some sev puri.

You can easily wolf down pounds of food with the cripsiness of this gem in no time. The nose is brilliant, so pour it in a glass to enjoy the full LP experience. Thank me later. Cheers! 

Haywards 5000: Honsala buland required

The Blockbuster 

This beer comes riding an army of corny commercials and stupid jingles. They once had Sanjay Dutt and Suniel Shetty bashing up an army of 10 villians with a Haywards 5000 crown (soda of course). Their most recent 'Hosala Ho Buland' Campaign conveys that this is the beer to be had for the hard-working salesman, once he's tired of getting his butt kicked throughout town on his Hero Splendor.

Quite a strong mouthfeel, takes the bite away from the Biryani that you're eating. I recently had the 500ml can with amazing roadside biryani in Ghaziabad. The can will set you back by 90 rupees.

This beer is impossible to drink once it has lost its fizz and that can be rather quick if you're a slow drinker. It tastes like elephant piss soon afterwards. So be careful of that. The first time I had this beer was in Pune and it made me awfully sleepy. Maybe that's what makes this beer work for the their Splendor-riding clientele. Worth a try or two definitely, its a decent brew. Cheers! 

Canon 10000: Too Heavy To Handle

Its a punch in the face: 10,000 times

I was once asked the one beer that fucked the fuck out of me and my reply is always Canon 10000. It is the baap of all alcoholic beers going purely by the way it hits you in the head.

The answer has changed ever since and I classify 'Old Monk Beer' as a strong contender for the strongest beer title. But yes, Canon 10000 is enough to make you sway the night away till you collapse in the bed and dream about fairies and ships.

Very small head, low on fizz high on booze. Not an easy taste to swallow. The first gulp will tell you that this is some serious shit.

One can sense a whiff of lemon or artificial fruity flavoring. The finish is strong and a bit plastic-ish.

Does the job, knocks you out. Recommended for salesmen who are far away from their weekly targets and have rather BC/MC friendly bosses. Try it on a empty stomach if you want people around you to be entertained. Cheers! 

Khajuraho Beer: Pune's Pale Golden

Naughty Name, Naughtier beer 

Khajuraho is bottled in Pune and sold primarily in parts of Maharashta. The name is kickass and so is the beer. Color is pale, there is little fizz and the beer has little froth to form a head of any kind in a mug.

It has a loyal following among pocket-light Punekars who want to get knocked out at the end of the day. The alcohol content exceeds 8.75% and one bottle does the job on most occasions.

Jaggery-inspired taste, finishes sightly harshly. Not the best beer to be had unless you're having a spicy meal. High can be classified as fairly moderate.

Recommended accompaniments: Any thing spicy. Try Misal Pav or any chicken dish made in the Kohlapuri way.

One bottle will set you back by 70 rupees. Worth a try. Cheers!

Golden Eagle Beer: Fauji's Choice

What's good for the Jawans is good for you 

My Dad is ex-Air Force, and a non-drinker. But he loves to entertain and maintain a rather elaborate collection of liquor. He got this for me from the Western Air Command canteen in Subroto Park. And it was fucking brilliant!

The food accompaniments to this were roadside "Chainees" food aka Hakka Noodles and Chicken Manchurian. The taste is rather heavy and hopp-ish in the beginning. It eases on your palate as you move down the bottle.

The label on the bottle says "For Indian Troops Only", so that adds to your experience. The brewers are the master craftsmen at Mohan Meakin in Ghaziabad who brought to you a drink that has developed a cult following over the decades, Old Monk.

Master-class beer, strong on the way down, heavy high for medium duration. A bit difficult to have without food. You can see how it is perfect for the Jawan in every imaginable way.

Make sure you pour it in a glass, the beer has a rather beautiful head and is a visual delight. Call your fauji friends for a try. Jai Hind! 

King's Beer: Goa

The King of Indian Beers indeed

If you've been to Goa and haven't savored this delicacy, then to put it very politely: SHAME ON YOU.

King's is Goa's local brew and is sold exclusively in Goa. It comes in a rather oddly shaped 375ml bottle which will set you back by 40 rupees. It's tougher to find in the Panaji area (though I was able to get a crate from this wine shop near Mandovi Hotel). King's is mostly found near your beach strips.

The gradual Tuborg-ification of Goa has resulted in even the locals disavowing this brilliant brew. So, it might be a little difficult to find now versus a couple of years ago.

The taste is light and the bite on your tongue is ticklish. At 4.85% alcohol content, the high is rather mild and short lived. The secret to the excellence of this beer is its pleasant taste which makes it easy for you to gulp two, even while you're standing at the liquor shop's counter.

A killer combination with Chicken Xacuti, Goan sausages and Beef Vindaloo. Make sure you don't miss the opportunity to savor this excellent beer next time around in Goa. Cheers!

That Obsession with Indian Beers

'THE' Stud beer: Pride of Pune 

The first time I ever had a beer was when I was in Grade 9. The location (for pretty much everyone else who went to school in Delhi) was this place called 'Hookah' in Priya's, Vasant Vihar. That place was among the few left, where you could march in your school uniform in all your glory and still get served. It shut soon after I left school, for obvious reasons. 

I remember the first gulp. It tasted like a concoction of a stale rotten orange, strong soda and bitter gourd juice. But I religiously finished my mug, skillfully pretending that this wasn't my first tryst with alcohol and I was a regular drinker (Cool like that). Someone obliged by ashing his cigarette into everyone's mugs (this was supposed to increase the high) and being the macho men that we were, we all gulped that crap down too. Peer pressure: Level 9000. 

Fast forward to 2010, I'd been nurturing a carefully crafted beer belly. The braand-of-choice was Kingfisher Blue. One fine day the girlfriend got tandoori chicken and beer delivered to my apartment, the choice of beer left to the delivery boy of course. He brought along this beer called "STUD". It was a local Pune brew, which I blatantly refused to drink out of sheer self respect and fear of dying. 

Few pieces of Tandoori Chicken and I needed something to wash it all down and opened this beer from the dark ages. I wouldn't have been surprised if my society watchman was savoring the same brand. Self-deprecation aside, I had the beer rather quickly. The taste was rather odd (not bad per se) and I started suspecting the presence of horse urine in the brew. 

The beer hit me in 5 minutes like a Delhi Blue-line bus. And the high refused to wear off hours afterwards too. And that was it, I had become a fan. Thus the obsessions with Indian Beers started, I made a pact with a friend of mine, that we'll have a new brand of beer each time we're drinking. And so the sojourn of Canon 10,000, Khajuraho etc started. 

This blog is a jobless attempt at profiling and appreciating these gems of brewery, which often come in increasingly shameful names (Lady Killer, Bachelor's Pride) and letting them have their time under the sun. 

Swadeshi is always right